Forest School Reflection from pilgrimage. 6am-6pm Overnight Hike in Singapore.

 🌱Pilgrimage Reflection by Shirin Tan🌱 23 March 2026

The session today was immensely powerful. The 2 questions asked were so simple yet I realised I never take time to think and reflect. We seldom stop and account for our life and story. Thank you to coaches for giving me the opportunity to think about what it means to be me.

When telling my story, I didnt feel much emotion, just emptying my cup. However returning home, barely resting for 3 hrs. I woke up.  Feeling the pain behind my knee after 12 hour hike. I suddenly became emotional, allowing myself to experience the emotions I have felt over the years.

Listening to everyone's story, there is underlying longing for assurance, acknowledge and belonging. Even though we are all adults, we have not made sense of it all. On one hand, it seems our education has failed us as we seek to escape fears and conform rather than spending time to make sense of the world and what our role in it is.

On the other hand, it's also these pains and sufferings we went through that shaped who we are today. Suddenly. I felt a sense of exhaustion, of fighting all these years.  My faith, my studies, my career, childbirth, breastfeeding, navigating parenting, my children's education, homeschooling, worldschooling, and now, my path towards opening my dream school.

It's been an exciting journey yet many a time, tiring.  I have been challenged, beaten yet refuse to give up. Fought for my voice for truth, for my children, for my dream and my life. So much opposing force. So much resistance, so much energy needed to swim upstream and against the tide.

I am reminded that a forest school classmate said something about resistance at our first meeting.

When there is resistance, it brings balance to the force. When life gives u challenges, it trains and shapes us.

I am reminded of a quote I read: "To struggle gives strength, to endure breeds a greater capacity for endurance. We must not run away from our heartbreaks in life; we must go through them, however fiery they may be, and bring with us out of the fire a stronger character.... Love, hate, passion, fear, sorrow, pain–they act on us and spur us on, they develop our qualities and give us colour and individuality...Without extremes there is no contrast and life becomes a dull monochrome, an interminable grey day, with no shadow, to be sure, but always deprived of the glory of the sunlight...we must try to get out of every experience in life the very best it can offer."

Towards the end of the hike, my mind wants to continue and refuse to give up, but my legs cant carry on anymore. Thankful to all to tell me its ok and to recognise physical signs that is telling me its time to stop. I realised I am like this, I will push myself to the end and want to be involve in everything just because I can. All my life, I just go go go, and most of the time end up being burn out. Its time to really take time periodically to really focus on those goals that I want to work on and take courage to say no to the rest. 

PILGRIMAGE  Reflection “Assignment”

1. What's your childhood play memories? 

• * When I was about 4, I loved exploring the cleared land that is meant for new housing development. I remember my dad used to bring our dog and I for walks in those raw Red earth that has ups and downs, jumping over gaps, and climbing to higher grounds. I enjoyed that memory with my father.

• * I enjoyed going to the playground every day when I was in lower primary, playing tag and jumping off the big slides/bridge when the catcher is near. We will play there every evening till 7pm, Sometimes we are so engrossed with play that we forget about time. This is when my mom will come, standing on top of the stairs of the badminton court, she will scream for my name across a badminton court, a basketball court, a volleyball court and a cycling ring.. I will be so embarrassed that I will quietly run another direction and take the long way home.

• * I remember me and another another friend will bring water and things to the sand playground to build a tall mountain and carve out a path for the water to flow down. I remember revisiting the playground every week after our piano lessons to work on an improved version of the waterfall until we were satisfied with the results.

• * We also have a 'bicycle gang' where about 10 of us, including our siblings will ride our bicycle around the 'taman' (garden). I remember there is a road that we love to take, its a long downhill road. We will line up our bicycles side by side,lift our legs up and race down the slope! Loved the feeling of the wind on my skin and the speed that we can go! Untill there is a stretch where the dogs will bark and some will chase us, we will scream and cycle as fast as we can to cross that section. It was so exciting, frightening yet we loved every moment of it.

• * We had a close community of Baha'i families who we meet weekly for a children's and teen's program. Those days were filled with joy and fun. A close family friend who live near me will come and pick me and my brothers in in a van to go for the weekly classes. They took away the seats at the back and pack all of us kids about 6 of us in the back, we will have no seatbeats on and will be squating and waiting for the uncle to swerve as he turns right or left and we will push and fall over each other. 

• * When we were in the car and it stops at the traffic light, we will make eye contact with the driver in the car at the back and start shooting him with pretend guns. We were strangers but we had a good connection. 

• * The centre where we meet is a double story bungalow that has a lowered basement area with a piece of land on both the sides. Sometimes the community will organise a celebration with delicious home cooked potluck food, we would a build a campfire and we would sit around and have games and songs and dance during holy day celebration, Some days the kids will play hide and seek and have pretend play at the side while the adults have their sessions. I vaguely remembered seeing fireflies and encounters with snakes. It's not until we started having complaints from neighbours that there are too many cars on the roads that we have to give up the bungalow and move to a shop house. All of the kids have grown and moved away. I really missed those days, I am glad my older 2 boys got to experience that for a couple of years before moving to Singapore. Now, the community have been asked to decentralised and re-build these communities in many other neighbourhoods in JB. Its my hope that love and joy continue to grow in each neighbourhood and continue to create beautiful connections between kids and families.

Forest School Reflection on Knife & Fire

Knife

Today at Forest school, we were given a Knife each and were asked to present a tool talk, like you would present it to a child.

About the tool talk, its very similar to what Montessori education advocate. For children to use real materials and real tools.

To present to them in simple and clear way how to use the tool and to note the important guidelines to it.

According to Maria Montessori, a child has an absorbent mind, especially before 7 years of age and they dont learn like adults do, they absorb what they see. So when we adults show them or teach them, we have to think about the steps, order and exactly how and what to say to them so that its simple and clear as this is what they will remember it.

Children are capable of handling real tools and materials. However in our society, they hardly get to do it. Usually helper or adults will jump in to assist and keep the kids away from breakable, dangerous items and tools. So when we are educating, we will need to access our societal norm and kids may need more time to become confident and independent in using tools.

A knife is a significant tool, it allows human to use hands and tools to create things out of the imagination. It brings ideas to fruition and the power of the human mind is translated from abstract to concrete. Such power that is given to humans. However with great power comes great responsibility. With the same tool, it can build or destroy. With our minds, we can thing of constructive thoughts or thoughts that will destroy and harm ourselves or others. The tools we use is powerful, but yet the most powerful of all is the ability of the human mind. Therefore use it wisely.

Abdu'l Baha said: "When a thought of war comes, oppose it by a stronger thought of peace. A thought of hatred must be destroyed by a more powerful thought of love."

Fire

My first time starting an actual fire in the wild. Well I have seen my husband and boys played with fire, but I never got involved, I feel its too complicated and troublesome. But today I did it. I failed at the first attempt, being over confident. Thought of getting it done asap and we can pack up and go home. Little did I know, a fires needs care and nurturing. Step by step. My state of mind was also crucial. To think orderly, step by step, to start, maintain and stabilise the fire. I say its pretty therapeutic and I felt a sense of  accomplishment when I finally suceeded the second time.  Fire burns away the veils that blocks our vision, like the fire, I hope whatever that is standing in the way, my preconceived ideas and lack of confidence be burned away so that the future is clearer and brighter.

Forest School Reflections (1st for 2026)

Reflection on the Forest School Singapore article on 'Japanese Forest Kindergarten: Thoughts from Atsuko Sensei' and 'Why Planned Inconvenience?'

Reflecting on the article on Japanese Forest Kindergarten. 

https://forestschooleducationseries.wordpress.com/japanese-forest-kindergarten-thoughts-from-atsuko-sensei/

I fully agree on the part about parents being on board with the philosophy and working together with the educator to support the program. Imparting knowledge and communicating with parents is very crucial not only for the child, but for the whole family's growth and well-being. I love how Atsuko Sensei said the philosophy became the strength for raising kids and giving back to the community. I think we really need that here, to empower parents to educate and nurture the children in our community. 

I have a question about being drop off at a young age. I think before a certain age, there is a natural attachment with parents and depending on individual child, we cannot be sure what is the best age for drop off. I feel very sad to see children (babies) are being drop off at infant care/ child care at far too young an age. They grow up prematurely without healthy attachment to their parents and family, and we are doing this in masses and its as though that's  the way it should be. Any child not in school by age... lets say 2 is considered odd. Parents also believe they are not capable to educate their own child and education should be out sourced to a professional institution.

With my own experience with my children, each grow at their own pace and we have to respect their emotional attachment need. As a parent, I also wanted to share first hand experience in the forest with my child and not listen to their stories after. As an educator, I feel parents should be very much part of the space so that they are part of their child's growth and learning experiences. I am curious how it will look like with different age group of children as a drop off program, and how parents can still be very much part of that village that raises the child. The nature group that I run for the homeschoolers have always been a co created space with the parents. Maybe it's the briefing I give prior to the meet up or the fact that homeschool parents generally are present and more willing to give their children the space they need to explore and grow, so far our nature program have been quite smooth and children have been given the respect and space to explore the forest and grow. But I am open to learning and understand why it has to be drop off.

Reflecting on the article on 'Why Planned Inconvenience?' 

 https://forestschooleducationseries.wordpress.com/why-planned-inconvenience/ 

Living in Singapore, not many realise it but we are a super efficient, almost perfect country where everything works, no shortage of electricity, water, public transport on time, safe, super super conveinient.

No complaints about this, I am grateful. But growing up in Malaysia and travelling the world a bit myself, I see that this reliance on convenience may become a problem for my children. That is why I constantly travel back to Malaysia and travel to less developed countries to allow them experience the inconvenience of life. We start to grow when there is inconvenience. I believe there is merit when we accustom ourselves to hardship.  When there is a shortage in electricity, we learn to be creative and work with what we have. When there is a shortage of water, we start thinking about others and use less water when we shower, we wash things and start planning ahead to see if there is enough water for everyone to use. What is essential and what is not essential.

When the train breaks down, or our bus is delayed, we learn to be creative and think of other ways to get to our destination or if really cant help it, we learn to be patient and wait. 

I feel this is when our brain starts thinking and working. Our characters are strengthen when we think of others, think of ways to solve the problem. 

In Singapore, it's a little difficult to find inconveniences, but being in the forest helps to remind us to let go and accept the seemly inconveniences. However these inconveniences is actually the key to inner happiness, something that is good for our soul.

This year is a year of learning!

After 2 decades of motherhood, I have decided it's time to take steps towards my dream of establishing a school. A school with a real difference. 

So this year I am taking both a Master's in Education and a Forest School Diploma! It sounds crazy, but I need to do both, and the timing seems to be right, so here I am, deep in the mud, literally.

The first 2 weeks have been really tough. I doubted myself, asking whether I am qualified enough, whether I have enough experience, whether I am cut out to study again. My brain feels so rusty, and I struggled to cope with the expectations of the Master's. It's one thing to study, it's another to be homeschooling a kid, managing a household of 6, plus commitment to neighbourhood community building endeavours. And on top of that, I am struggling to keep up the energy to do all the above while fasting. ( It's the Bahai fasting month.)

I have been running a homeschool nature co-op group for 9 years now, so forest school diploma should be a walk in the park, oh so I thought. I realised that while I was running the program over the years, I myself wasn't really immersed into the forest myself as I was more observant of the kids and trying to connect with them, thinking ahead of risk/decisions to make/how to guide the group. Since last year, I felt that I was at a standstill, like what else can we do? How can we go deeper into the forest, and how can we connect more with Mother Nature? I wanted more, I feel the need to deepend myself and grow while I guide others.

The first session of forest school diploma training was surprisingly tough. I was too conscious of myself, I felt I should be connecting with the forest but I found myself thrown into the situation... without control of the environment and unable to see what lies ahead. A range of emotions swelled up, and I became scared, as if I was in the forest for the first time. At one point, I felt tears coming into my eyes, which I tried to hold myself together and kept them in. Maybe I should have let it out, all the bottled-up feelings, empty my cup so I can start experiencing and learning.

I feel like if I tell other people of my feelings at this point, it would be like "You ask for it ma!"
Yes I asked for it, I have to survive this no matter what. I need divine assistance to pull through this year! God please help me!

Gap year Worldschooling

Our family of 6 is embarking on a year long journey to travel the world to learn and to serve and volunteer where possible. Where this idea came from was the fact that we live in Singapore. A small red dot on the map of the world. Dont get me wrong Singapore is an amazing country! In a short span of 50 years our nation was transformed from a small, backward, fishing village to one of the most properous and advanced nation in the world. 

The founding prime minister of Singapore, Mr Lee Kuan Yew had a vision for this small island. And he was the one responsible for putting a small island on the map of the world. Being a small country, we do not have land or any resources. The resource that Mr Lee capitalised on was Human Resource. The people. I always knew we are fortunate to be living in Singapore and growing up in Malaysia, I appreciate it more. But my children grew up most of their years here and not intentional but we take a lot of things for granted. Simple things like having continous uninterrupted electricity, having fresh flowing drinking water from the tap, having efficient public transport system, free schooling, clean streets and environment, homes to live in....etc. We are blessed, owning these comfort to our founding fathers.

My parents transfered me to study 'overseas' at a mere 10 years of age, seeking a better English based education in Singapore. Every day we board a yellow school bus and carry our passports to cross the causeway. Being independent and studying in a foreign country at such an young age gave me a great exposure to the world. I am thankful to the education that I have received through some of the most amazing teachers that have inspired me till this day. 

There is so much merit to traveling. To move is an innate instinct in humans. To move from one position to another is the most fundamental characteristic of any living thing. And to move is to change. And Abdul Baha, the son of the prophet of the Bahai faith said that : “Change is a necessary quality and essential attribute of this world, of time and place.”. The reason that change is necessary, He explains, is that “the world of existence is progressive”. So to progress we need to move, we need to change for growth to occur. 

Growing up into my teens and young adult years, I have always loved to travel, to see the world. As a Bahai we often get to travel to different states of Malaysia and neighbouring countries to participate in camps, conferences, musical tours, volunteer work as a English teacher and so on. With each trip, I grew and gain so much. With each experience, my maturity grew, my vision and understanding of the world grew and in return I found my interest and my strength and that made me who I am today. 

After getting married and having children, it did not stop us from travelling. I would wear my baby in a baby sling and bring him whereever I went. Even though a baby is seemingly not able to comprehend the travel we took, I realised the effect of travelling with a baby is much deeper. He doesnt remember the experience when he grow up but the experiences actually form part of him, he absorbs the culture, the language, the way of life. I am certain that that will make him more able to relate to others and have a connection with the different places he visits and people he meet. 

Fast forward 17 years later, my eldest son finished his secondary school and realised that he does not know what he wants to do. I told him to take his time to think about it and if he is not ready, take some time off and just experience life, find his strengths, interest and find out which direction he wants to go from here. Dont need to follow the rat race and keep up with everyone. Being the one who attended school his whole formative schooling years, he does not have much time to ponder much about what he wants to do when he grow up. I try to support him in his hobbies and interest in Piano, Speed Cubing, Sports...etc but he is not too sure which of this is something he wants to do as a career. 

Some time ago, I also did a calculation that the year 2023 is the 1 year that all of the boys are able to take off to travel together. Tristan finished O-levels and if we wait till next year he has to either start tertiary or enlist himself in compulsory national service in the army for the following 2 years. Trevor my second boy is still homeschooled (technically I dont teach him, so I would say he is unschooled or no-schooled!), he can take a break off formal schooling and do some lessons online then come back after a year to continue. Tyler my 3rd by is primary 4, he is in school. Following years are a little more crucial as he needs to prepare for the all 'important' Primary School Leaving Examination - PSLE. Travis is 5 and happy homeschooled/unschooled. So after much consultation with Chris and the boys, we have decided to take a year off together to travel to a few countries around the world. To travel, learn and serve the community we visit. Later only I found out that there are many families who does this on long term basis. They are nomads, sold their home and travel and mostly work via an internet connection from any parts of the world they decide to stay in. These families call themselves Worldschooling families. 

We started our journey on the 3rd Novemeber 2022, and here we are almost 9 months and 5 countries later. All I can say is that we are different people now then when we first started. These travels have enriched us with appreciation of what we have and that really, our life in Singapore is very much like a bubble, outside Singapore, life is not that easy nor perfect. But all these imperfection are also an important part of the enriching experiences we had and sought. I am humbled my these experiences and what made our journey the most memorable is the amazing people whom we have met along the way. They made the difference. More on our adventures campervan-ing in Australia, Serving in the Lotus Temple in India, Surfing on the beaches of Vietnam, Travelling on speed train in South Korea and Volunteering in schools in the villages of Cambodia. 

 #TohFamilyTravels #TohFamilyAdventures #Worldschooling

Jeon Ju, South Korea. Gyeonggijeon Shrine.

We are back to homeschooling a Preschooler and a High School kid.

Yes! My 2nd boy is out of school, first big question I faced is WHY? Why did we decide to take him out? How are you going to homeschool secondary level? What is going to happen next? 

Well, I thought 2 years of homeschooling a Primary kid in P5 & P6, ended in PSLE. Maybe I thought  since he is a little older, a little more mature to handle whatever stress school, and I am convinced I can never do secondary school stuff anymore, we decided going back to Secondary school was the only option for him. On top of that I was also convinced that those who are homeschooling in Singapore in the High school years are taking foreign curriculum which will end up leading to tertiary education overseas. With 4 kids, that might not be the most affordable option for us. So up till last year this time, homeschooling secondary level is out of the question for us, and so I thought.

My son attended 1 year in a local government secondary school in 2021. I think he got into reasonable good neighbourhood school which I thought was suitable for him. Not too focused on academic, his school teachers were nice and were quite observant of him. First few months he slept early, woke up on his own and took public bus to school. I was happy that he was motivated and happy to go to school. First 2 months was quite fun as they have orientation, fun activities and trying out different CCAs and getting to know new friends. However as the months go by, I can see this excitement dimed. He started waking later and frequently late for school, dragging his heavy 8kg bag to school everyday. He kept repeating that he do not want to go school. But at that point, I told him we do not have a choice he has to try his best to accept and settle into school. 

My 2 homeschooled kids-
Trip to the zoo .
 

Months went by, I see that he is getting more and more exhausted and everyday after school, he will dive directly into his computer games and escape from reality. This behaviour continued and soon, I hear feedback from teachers about him not handling in his work, forgeting to bring things, day dreaming in class. The same feedback I had when he was in Primary school. I also started to notice his unwillingness to go out with us, constainly feeling tired and not wanting to socialise and hang out with family. He rather be in his own virtual world. He also started developing tics, an involuntary movement of the facial muscle that is probably caused by environment stress or triggers. 

Here we go again, looking for help. went to see different Drs, psychologist...etc. One year of schooling has done a lot of damage. ( Yes damage is the suitable term here.)

He cant explain why he feels this way, he just dont like school. But he says most teachers are nice, he has friends, he like the school food and recess is his favourite subject. The worse subject for him is the one with the longest period. I guess for kids, they just say they dont like it. but unable to elaborate or understand why.

I put myself in his shoes, and tried to understand what and why he feels the way he does.

He says he tries to listen to what the teacher is saying, but after a while, he just cant anymore and switches off and do his own thing.

I felt... he must have felt suppressed. He needed to move to learn, he needed to do things to be engaged. He is not a 'sit down listen to lectures' person. And I think sit down, be quiet and listen is not the best way to learn and some people just can not learn this way.

He spends about 8 hours in school, but he is not learnning much. And ends up becoming withdrawn, moody, irritable, depressed, cant sleep well and exhibited signs of anxiety and stress.

I think there is nothing wrong with him, or nothing wrong with school. It just does not suit him. And there is no point for me to fight the school system and trying to medicate him or make him fit into this box that is not meant for him. He is unique the way he is. 

So after researching, planning and talking to many people, we have decided it would be best for him that he learns in an environment that is more customised to his learning needs. Homeschooling beyond primary is actually a viable option in Singapore with options for certification and continued education in local tertiary institution and overseas. 

After fighting a battle for the last one year, trying to find out what is wrong with school, what is wrong with him, dealing with many pyschological and emotional challenges, I found peace that we decided to take this step. I am not sure what the future holds, but I am hopeful it will turn out alright.

Finally out of Hibernation! Some thoughts on Homeschooling and Education .

Inspiration way passed midnight.

I have some random questions in my mind which I have been thinking about.

Why do kids say they are not good in anything?

Why do kids feel they are bad at certain things?

Why do kids get bored easily?

Can kids be motivated to learn?

When I tell them I took my son out of school to homeschool at P5. 

People either say: "wow.. You can la! I can never teach my own. I will vomit blood." 

OR

"Wah, you must be very good in all subjects huh?" 

OR

"You mean its possible? Is it legal?" 

OR

Some might probably think that I am crazy and I am ruining his life!

There is so much so much misconception of how children learn and how children are actually naturally curious and want to learn. It is us.. and our one size fit all system that put this fire out for the kids. 

I homeschool my boys, but I don't teach my boy much. You must be wondering.   Then how does he learn? 

Children naturally want to learn! So if we do not interfere with nature, they will learn even without me teaching. 

My role is more like a facilitator and a manager. I plan and manage his curriculum in collaboration with him and his needs and interest. I help to organise educational experience that will feed this interest and further develop his skill and ability. I support their learning. It is only this year where we prepare for the national exam that I had to step in to teach the specific skills and knowledge needed to pass the examination. And some I engaged good tutors to assist.  Yes homeschool kids can go tuition and they can take classes from others beside their mom. But in Singapore, a child who is a citizen, cannot enrol their child in a private full time institution like a private school. 

A visit to Victoria Concert Hall.
(Picture taken before Pandemic.)

So... Point is education can be twitched to fit the child. And homeschooling provide the space and time for my boy to grow and learn holistically. And through this, he is discovering himself, his interest, his passion, strength and knows what he want to do in life. And also he knows his family well and though we sometimes argue but we have a good talking relationship. Very rare to be on good talking terms with tweens or teens these days. 

Did you know what you wanted to do when you finish secondary school?

We are asked to follow and we are being fitted into the standardised good student that anything outside the standard means we are not good, not smart or not successful. We dont have much time to explore our interest because we have fixed program that we have to attend, heaps of homework to do and lots of after school tuition. We are being dictated what to do. In the end when we do conform and fit in..  We loose ourselves. No wonder most are clueless of their strength and what they want to do in life. Because the formative years are being used to accessively push the child towards academic success, which is the accepted norm of what success look like. Anything outside is considered a failure. 

Further into life we see graduates who are placed into their fields because of society expectations and of motivation for monetary gains instead of truly realising their strengths and potential and really loving what they do and knowing what they do best. This is when fulfillment is very low and we end up having high rate of depression. 

This is a very vicious cycle... And it needs to begin with a good, balanced education that respects the child as an individual. To see the future through the eyes of each and every unique child, each having some amazing to contribute to the whole. Instead of having a system who filters the kids who do not fit in and decide their life for them from a very young age. 

God willing we will be able to recognise this and move towards a greater ever advancing civilisation with the right kind, true kind of education which will unleashed the latent powers of our children for the betterment of the world. 

-->Will write about the other questions another day.

--> And stay tuned... I will be updating on my 2year journey of Homeschooling a P5-P6, PSLE kid in Singapore.

-->Our chapter for Homeschooling in the primary years will be closing soon. But homeschooling a 2.5yr old will begin soon!

#HomeschoolSG

#HomeschoolingSG

#FreeToLearn

#UnleashPotential

#BettermentOfTheWorld

#EverAdvancingCivilization