At wit's end at 5 am!!!

Yes it's 5:30am already! and I have been awake the past hour trying to soothe my angry son. He refuse to go back to sleep on his own without 'nen nen'(nursing).I am... frustrated, tired AHHH!!!! I give up & gave in! He is sleeping now after an hour of struggle, but I feel horrible.. Letting cry and scream and vomit for an hour then "GIVE IN" to his request. I need help!

It all started when I received an email from a friend in JULY 07 of mine saying that her 3 month old is sleeping through the night and 11 hours straight!!! I mean ... how's that possible? My son is 18 months and he still awakes up twice at least every night for 'nen nen'. At first I was worried for my friend's baby if he was alright to sleep through the night? I mean really nothing wrong? I cant believe it.

So I replied asking if she's sure there's nothing wrong with baby? I mean can a baby at 3 months sleep through the night?!She told me that she has been training him to sleep. Curious, I asked her how she did it. She's reading an e-book on sleep techniques and teaching your baby/toddler/child to sleep longer and better. That a baby after 3 months is ready to store enough food in his growing tummy to sleep through the night. The website is call www. sleepsense.net

Since Tristan was born, he was nursed to sleep. I would nurse him and sing him little prayers and he would just fall asleep. It was such a wonderful feeling. But months after months of nursing and over a year of sleepless nights, I think it's time for a change. I read the book motivated to teach Tristan to fall back to sleep on his own, without nen nen and to let him develop good sleep habits by letting him sleep longer and better AND finally both me and baby can get some real unbroken SLEEP.... I decided to try it.

I wrote down the few tips from the book:-
1)Eliminate sleep props (no more nursing to sleep)
2)Bedtime routine (recommend to sleep about 7-8pm!)
3)Use a 'blankie' (my son has a little duck that he sleeps with everynight)
4)Repeat key words such as " It's time to sleep", "Night Night time"

First night(22nd JULY 2007-as I recorded in my book...) was...'hell'! Chris was at working night shift and me alone trying to soothe a crying child is no joke. I'm not sure if I did right, I nursed him and he fell asleep as usual at 8:20pm. He woke up at 9:05pm crying. Cried his hearts out and each time I put him back on the bed, he screamed and cried even more. I have never seen him cry so hard before. He was such a happy and sweet child. I was confused, am I doing the right thing? am I teaching him anger instead?

at 9:30pm still crying non stop. kept walking towards the door and wanting to go out of the room as if looking for something. I picked him up and put him gently back to bed telling him it's night night time. But he still wakes up each time more angrier and screaming and pointing towards the door. I gave in to his request and open the door. I carried him and as he pointed where to go, I brought him, telling him it's night night time and everyone is asleep. Even the cats... fish... everything.
He waved bye bye and finally seem to understand and we went back to the bed room. He started crying AGAIN.... (fast forward... an hour of struggle later...) I manage to feed him some water and let him lie down.. and he fell asleep! on his own! without 'nen nen'! Was is a success?

the next night... the crying continued! He was crying so much that his temper and anger got worst. He started throwing tantrum. My heart aches each time he cries and scream. Feel like the worst mother ever! Have I done something terribly wrong? what am I teaching him?

In a few days, we were traveling to another city for a wedding, staying a new place, unpredictable bed times..etc... Chris says we should do this only after the wedding, when we come back. Frustrated.. and tired. I agreed. And continue nursing him to bed.


I think I gave up too easily. It's even harder to teach him now. I still love and will continue breastfeeding but it's becoming a habit (not sure if it's a bad habit) for Tristan. As he is not hungry, he just want nen nen to help him go back to sleep. He cant sleep back on his own!

I tried it again.. just last week! It got worst this time... he screamed... choke on his saliva and vomit all over the bed. I had to control my frustration and anger... soothe the screaming baby... change the bed sheet and clean him and his puke in the middle of the night. He look so poor thing... and tired. And guess what! I gave in and nurse him to sleep! after all that drama!

I shouldn't have given in. He will start crying and screaming for longer period of time, knowing that he will get what he wants in the end... But how then? My heart breaks to see him so poor thing, vomited, tired, angry, swollen eyes from crying... What's a mother to do?

Is there an answer out there my sleep troubles??? This habit is really bugging me. Am I pushing him too hard? Will he learn on his own eventually? Are there other ways?...