Friday, August 25, 2023

Gap year Worldschooling

Our family of 6 is embarking on a year long journey to travel the world to learn and to serve and volunteer where possible. Where this idea came from was the fact that we live in Singapore. A small red dot on the map of the world. Dont get me wrong Singapore is an amazing country! In a short span of 50 years our nation was transformed from a small, backward, fishing village to one of the most properous and advanced nation in the world. 

The founding prime minister of Singapore, Mr Lee Kuan Yew had a vision for this small island. And he was the one responsible for putting a small island on the map of the world. Being a small country, we do not have land or any resources. The resource that Mr Lee capitalised on was Human Resource. The people. I always knew we are fortunate to be living in Singapore and growing up in Malaysia, I appreciate it more. But my children grew up most of their years here and not intentional but we take a lot of things for granted. Simple things like having continous uninterrupted electricity, having fresh flowing drinking water from the tap, having efficient public transport system, free schooling, clean streets and environment, homes to live in....etc. We are blessed, owning these comfort to our founding fathers.

My parents transfered me to study 'overseas' at a mere 10 years of age, seeking a better English based education in Singapore. Every day we board a yellow school bus and carry our passports to cross the causeway. Being independent and studying in a foreign country at such an young age gave me a great exposure to the world. I am thankful to the education that I have received through some of the most amazing teachers that have inspired me till this day. 

There is so much merit to traveling. To move is an innate instinct in humans. To move from one position to another is the most fundamental characteristic of any living thing. And to move is to change. And Abdul Baha, the son of the prophet of the Bahai faith said that : “Change is a necessary quality and essential attribute of this world, of time and place.”. The reason that change is necessary, He explains, is that “the world of existence is progressive”. So to progress we need to move, we need to change for growth to occur. 

Growing up into my teens and young adult years, I have always loved to travel, to see the world. As a Bahai we often get to travel to different states of Malaysia and neighbouring countries to participate in camps, conferences, musical tours, volunteer work as a English teacher and so on. With each trip, I grew and gain so much. With each experience, my maturity grew, my vision and understanding of the world grew and in return I found my interest and my strength and that made me who I am today. 

After getting married and having children, it did not stop us from travelling. I would wear my baby in a baby sling and bring him whereever I went. Even though a baby is seemingly not able to comprehend the travel we took, I realised the effect of travelling with a baby is much deeper. He doesnt remember the experience when he grow up but the experiences actually form part of him, he absorbs the culture, the language, the way of life. I am certain that that will make him more able to relate to others and have a connection with the different places he visits and people he meet. 

Fast forward 17 years later, my eldest son finished his secondary school and realised that he does not know what he wants to do. I told him to take his time to think about it and if he is not ready, take some time off and just experience life, find his strengths, interest and find out which direction he wants to go from here. Dont need to follow the rat race and keep up with everyone. Being the one who attended school his whole formative schooling years, he does not have much time to ponder much about what he wants to do when he grow up. I try to support him in his hobbies and interest in Piano, Speed Cubing, Sports...etc but he is not too sure which of this is something he wants to do as a career. 

Some time ago, I also did a calculation that the year 2023 is the 1 year that all of the boys are able to take off to travel together. Tristan finished O-levels and if we wait till next year he has to either start tertiary or enlist himself in compulsory national service in the army for the following 2 years. Trevor my second boy is still homeschooled (technically I dont teach him, so I would say he is unschooled or no-schooled!), he can take a break off formal schooling and do some lessons online then come back after a year to continue. Tyler my 3rd by is primary 4, he is in school. Following years are a little more crucial as he needs to prepare for the all 'important' Primary School Leaving Examination - PSLE. Travis is 5 and happy homeschooled/unschooled. So after much consultation with Chris and the boys, we have decided to take a year off together to travel to a few countries around the world. To travel, learn and serve the community we visit. Later only I found out that there are many families who does this on long term basis. They are nomads, sold their home and travel and mostly work via an internet connection from any parts of the world they decide to stay in. These families call themselves Worldschooling families. 

We started our journey on the 3rd Novemeber 2022, and here we are almost 9 months and 5 countries later. All I can say is that we are different people now then when we first started. These travels have enriched us with appreciation of what we have and that really, our life in Singapore is very much like a bubble, outside Singapore, life is not that easy nor perfect. But all these imperfection are also an important part of the enriching experiences we had and sought. I am humbled my these experiences and what made our journey the most memorable is the amazing people whom we have met along the way. They made the difference. More on our adventures campervan-ing in Australia, Serving in the Lotus Temple in India, Surfing on the beaches of Vietnam, Travelling on speed train in South Korea and Volunteering in schools in the villages of Cambodia. 

 #TohFamilyTravels #TohFamilyAdventures #Worldschooling
Jeon Ju, South Korea. Gyeonggijeon Shrine.

Sunday, January 23, 2022

We are back to homeschooling a Preschooler and a High School kid.

Yes! My 2nd boy is out of school, first big question I faced is WHY? Why did we decide to take him out? How are you going to homeschool secondary level? What is going to happen next? 

Well, I thought 2 years of homeschooling a Primary kid in P5 & P6, ended in PSLE. Maybe I thought  since he is a little older, a little more mature to handle whatever stress school, and I am convinced I can never do secondary school stuff anymore, we decided going back to Secondary school was the only option for him. On top of that I was also convinced that those who are homeschooling in Singapore in the High school years are taking foreign curriculum which will end up leading to tertiary education overseas. With 4 kids, that might not be the most affordable option for us. So up till last year this time, homeschooling secondary level is out of the question for us, and so I thought.

My son attended 1 year in a local government secondary school in 2021. I think he got into reasonable good neighbourhood school which I thought was suitable for him. Not too focused on academic, his school teachers were nice and were quite observant of him. First few months he slept early, woke up on his own and took public bus to school. I was happy that he was motivated and happy to go to school. First 2 months was quite fun as they have orientation, fun activities and trying out different CCAs and getting to know new friends. However as the months go by, I can see this excitement dimed. He started waking later and frequently late for school, dragging his heavy 8kg bag to school everyday. He kept repeating that he do not want to go school. But at that point, I told him we do not have a choice he has to try his best to accept and settle into school. 

My 2 homeschooled kids-
Trip to the zoo .

 
Months went by, I see that he is getting more and more exhausted and everyday after school, he will dive directly into his computer games and escape from reality. This behaviour continued and soon, I hear feedback from teachers about him not handling in his work, forgeting to bring things, day dreaming in class. The same feedback I had when he was in Primary school. I also started to notice his unwillingness to go out with us, constainly feeling tired and not wanting to socialise and hang out with family. He rather be in his own virtual world. He also started developing tics, an involuntary movement of the facial muscle that is probably caused by environment stress or triggers. 

Here we go again, looking for help. went to see different Drs, psychologist...etc. One year of schooling has done a lot of damage. ( Yes damage is the suitable term here.)

He cant explain why he feels this way, he just dont like school. But he says most teachers are nice, he has friends, he like the school food and recess is his favourite subject. The worse subject for him is the one with the longest period. I guess for kids, they just say they dont like it. but unable to elaborate or understand why.

I put myself in his shoes, and tried to understand what and why he feels the way he does.

He says he tries to listen to what the teacher is saying, but after a while, he just cant anymore and switches off and do his own thing.

I felt... he must have felt suppressed. He needed to move to learn, he needed to do things to be engaged. He is not a 'sit down listen to lectures' person. And I think sit down, be quiet and listen is not the best way to learn and some people just can not learn this way.

He spends about 8 hours in school, but he is not learnning much. And ends up becoming withdrawn, moody, irritable, depressed, cant sleep well and exhibited signs of anxiety and stress.

I think there is nothing wrong with him, or nothing wrong with school. It just does not suit him. And there is no point for me to fight the school system and trying to medicate him or make him fit into this box that is not meant for him. He is unique the way he is. 

So after researching, planning and talking to many people, we have decided it would be best for him that he learns in an environment that is more customised to his learning needs. Homeschooling beyond primary is actually a viable option in Singapore with options for certification and continued education in local tertiary institution and overseas. 

After fighting a battle for the last one year, trying to find out what is wrong with school, what is wrong with him, dealing with many pyschological and emotional challenges, I found peace that we decided to take this step. I am not sure what the future holds, but I am hopeful it will turn out alright.









Sunday, November 08, 2020

Finally out of Hibernation! Some thoughts on Homeschooling and Education .


Inspiration way passed midnight.

I have some random questions in my mind which I have been thinking about.

Why do kids say they are not good in anything?

Why do kids feel they are bad at certain things?

Why do kids get bored easily?

Can kids be motivated to learn?

When I tell them I took my son out of school to homeschool at P5. 
People either say: "wow.. You can la! I can never teach my own. I will vomit blood." 
OR
"Wah, you must be very good in all subjects huh?" 
OR
"You mean its possible? Is it legal?" 
OR
Some might probably think that I am crazy and I am ruining his life!

There is so much so much misconception of how children learn and how children are actually naturally curious and want to learn. It is us.. and our one size fit all system that put this fire out for the kids. 

I homeschool my boys, but I don't teach my boy much. You must be wondering.   Then how does he learn? 

Children naturally want to learn! So if we do not interfere with nature, they will learn even without me teaching. 

My role is more like a facilitator and a manager. I plan and manage his curriculum in collaboration with him and his needs and interest. I help to organise educational experience that will feed this interest and further develop his skill and ability. I support their learning. It is only this year where we prepare for the national exam that I had to step in to teach the specific skills and knowledge needed to pass the examination. And some I engaged good tutors to assist.  Yes homeschool kids can go tuition and they can take classes from others beside their mom. But in Singapore, a child who is a citizen, cannot enrol their child in a private full time institution like a private school. 
A visit to Victoria Concert Hall.
(Picture taken before Pandemic.)

So... Point is education can be twitched to fit the child. And homeschooling provide the space and time for my boy to grow and learn holistically. And through this, he is discovering himself, his interest, his passion, strength and knows what he want to do in life. And also he knows his family well and though we sometimes argue but we have a good talking relationship. Very rare to be on good talking terms with tweens or teens these days. 


Did you know what you wanted to do when you finish secondary school?

We are asked to follow and we are being fitted into the standardised good student that anything outside the standard means we are not good, not smart or not successful. We dont have much time to explore our interest because we have fixed program that we have to attend, heaps of homework to do and lots of after school tuition. We are being dictated what to do. In the end when we do conform and fit in..  We loose ourselves. No wonder most are clueless of their strength and what they want to do in life. Because the formative years are being used to accessively push the child towards academic success, which is the accepted norm of what success look like. Anything outside is considered a failure. 

Further into life we see graduates who are placed into their fields because of society expectations and of motivation for monetary gains instead of truly realising their strengths and potential and really loving what they do and knowing what they do best. This is when fulfillment is very low and we end up having high rate of depression. 

This is a very vicious cycle... And it needs to begin with a good, balanced education that respects the child as an individual. To see the future through the eyes of each and every unique child, each having some amazing to contribute to the whole. Instead of having a system who filters the kids who do not fit in and decide their life for them from a very young age. 

God willing we will be able to recognise this and move towards a greater ever advancing civilisation with the right kind, true kind of education which will unleashed the latent powers of our children for the betterment of the world. 


-->Will write about the other questions another day.
--> And stay tuned... I will be updating on my 2year journey of Homeschooling a P5-P6, PSLE kid in Singapore.
-->Our chapter for Homeschooling in the primary years will be closing soon. But homeschooling a 2.5yr old will begin soon!

#HomeschoolSG
#HomeschoolingSG
#FreeToLearn
#UnleashPotential
#BettermentOfTheWorld
#EverAdvancingCivilization

Saturday, October 05, 2019

Fear Of Missing Out

Advertisements are everywhere!!?!?! We are slapped with so many statements to tell us we are not good enough, we need what they are offering to feel happy, to succeed, to be rich, to be able to fly???

Facebook, youtube... everywhere I turn is showing me what they think I am interested in... For my case is educational related ads. Firstly I am being tracked.. Hhmmm not comfortable with that.
Secondly these ads.. It makes me feel I am not doing enough for my kids or they are losing out and will not get a headstart in school if I dont sign them up for the math class, the psle course, the make your child focus... Brain training... Etc...
It taps on our fears of missing out. Apparently theres a term for it. FOMO.
But why?... Is it ok if 6 year old is not reading yet?
Is it ok if my 10 year old doesn't sit and focus when we do math?  Can he lie down on the ground to do work? Can he be learning when playing?


Do my kids need to go for every enrichment classes there are? Ok.. This I got sucked in... I worked out my expenditure for the kids enrichment programs... And i saw the grand total... OMG..  Way way too high. But its for 3 kids.. So.. Hhmm not to say its ok.. I am thinking what is necessary. Should we continue sending because we can afford it? Is it necessary? I need to constantly reflect and review our priorities... Because I have some FOMO too... The influence is too strong.. I can ignore once.. Twice.. After a while, I start clicking and signing up for free trials.  Need to focus.. And control... If not our lives will be taken over by someone else priorities.
Another question is aren't they learning math in school? Why do they need tuition? If tuition works... Why do they need school??
This fear of missing out I feel is because...
Number 1: We believe ALL children must learn the same things at the same time. So if your child is not walking by a certain age.. He is losing out.. If he is not reading at a certain age... He is going to be behind in school... And that is bad... Because his future is going to be ruined if he doesnt do well in school!!!?!?!..
Number 2: We categorise learning into grades.. By primary 1, a child MUST learn this or that.. He dont need to learn science, because he needs to focus on building up languages first... (an example).
What if he is interested in the world around him.. Do we tell him, dont need to learn that now.. Because you are going to learn that few years later. And when the 'time' comes.. .. his curiousity.. his interest would have died.
We are all born to be creative, its not a gift or talent that only a few are bestowed with.
Reason why creativity slowly dissapear is because we tell kids... This is what u need to learn to pass the exam and that would mean that u are successful. Don't need to learn anything else because it is not in the exam syllabus.. Or if u are doing anything else other than studying for exams.. you should feel guilty and you are wasting your time.
Someone shared with me that... Many Grade A students end up working for Grade C students. Got me thinking... Why? Because grade A students is busy learning by the book and studying for exam.. Where grade c students is busy playing.. Catching spiders.. Imagining.. Dreaming.. About other things. And this time spent dreaming.. Thinking.. Playing.. These experiences makes him different from the cohord of students coming out with straight As from the factory (aka schools). (excuse the generalisation.. just my opinion.. And putting a point across. Great if you are those who can do both... :) ..
This day dreamer will be able to think creatively.. To problem solve... To go beyond required and pursue his interest or invent something.. Or.. I dont know.. The sky is the limit.. Or maybe there's no limit anymore.
Just something for me to reflect on... And sharing a message.
Beware... For we will fall into this trap, and feel inadequate. Reflect and ponder often, what is our values, what is necessary, what is more important in life.

Saturday, August 31, 2019

Views on learning and education.


When we first move to Singapore, I often regret about the move. Leaving begin comfort and familarity.  But after 4 years, looking back, I realised that we were destined to move here. Things have happened along the way that have changed the way I look at things. My experiences homeschooling a toddler-preschooler, experiences in forest school, having met so many amazing homeschooling families from all over the world in Singapore and now homeschooling a primary 5 kid. The people I have met, have inspired me and truly treasure these relationships I have. 

My views on learning, parenting and life in general has changed. I now see schooling and society at large from a different perspective. Briefly, here are just some of my realisation. 

I have come to understand the following...

  • Education is compulsory but not schooling
  • Schools were create right about the same time when prisons are created. 
  • Homework has not been proven to help improve grades or knowledge.
  • Grades are not an accurate reflection of intelligence. 
  • Being able to read and write does not equate to intelligence. 
  • Children are naturally curious and love to acquire knowledge. Not just when they are baby,toddler or preschool ages.
  • Children are self motivated if given freedom, space and time.
  • Each child develops at their own pace and have innate potential.
  • Children can learn through play
  • Children can learn better through play
  • Children learn better outdoors. (proven by research--will see if I can find the reference) 
  • Resilence cannot be developed through textbook or man made situations.
  • Letting go is hard but once I have started letting go and respect the growth and development of the child, I started to see magic. They begin to take charge of their own learning, I can see them bloom like a flower. Their innate potential and personality started to unfold and reveal itself.

Here are some of my learnings from these few years and especially these few months of homeschooling. I feel that I am just at the beginning of my journey or rather our journey. Please feel free to comment and share your views. 





Tuesday, July 09, 2019

We are officially homeschooling a primary 5 kid!

Well...I know this is old news. I actually wrote the title to this blog last year- Nov 2018. That is when I started the application to homeschool Trevor. I didn't complete and publish it till now because I wanted to really give it a go for a few months before I talk about the imaginary ideal homeschooling life we would have.

So here we are, 4 months down the road... and we are still homeschooling. YES , somedays I feel like quitting and threatened to send him back to school. Somedays we would quarrel and don't feel like talking to each other. Other days I feel that maybe it will be  'easier' to put him into school and let the teachers and schools worry about his education. Hhmm ... maybe not easier... just a different challenges. There are also the good days when we are happy, learning and bonding. These are the days that keeps me going.

It may have come as a surprise for some, but thinking about learning, education and schooling has been on my mind for many years. I came across homeschooling while searching for a primary school for my eldest son, Tristan. Then, I felt I was not capable of doing it and I was afraid I will not be consistent. And I thought what Baha'ullah (the prophet of Baha'i Faith) envisioned schooling for the future would be like. Education will begin at home but I wasn't sure how homeschooling will look like and how it will allow for our children to mingle with others in society when most people are in mainstream? I do not want my children to be cut off from the world. But little did I know that the opposite is true. School actually is pretty much cut off from the real world. And students have to complete their whole 10+years of studying before actually applying their knowledge in work or in service to the community. It may be changing now but it may take a long time to fully making learning very practical and applicable.

If there could be a new structure of school who can cater to individual learning styles, to constantly encourage the kids and accept each child as a mine rich in gems waiting to be mined and not a empty vessel to be filled, to provide authentic, real, hands on experiences, focus on developing the virtues within, letting the child's interest take the lead, close to nature, contribute to the community, building every child to be successful, confident, happy and fulfilled individuals who feels a sense of belonging in the world we live in.

This is an ideal school... for me, for us.

But currently it does not exist here in Singapore, at least not in 2013 or now for the matter.

So after much research and thought, we decided to enrol Tristan in Primary school in Singapore. Over the years its been lots of ups and downs. I must say we as parents have to be very involved in the schooling of our children, be proactive in finding out what they do in school if not the kids just spend 7-10 hours daily away from us and we don't know what they have experienced. I am happy that he turn out matured, confident, well adjusted and his talents are realised. I am content and feel a sense of relieve that he has done well for his primary years- oh well in the academic traditional sense. This journey is not without struggles and challenges, quarrels and stress. It involves our constantly review, changing our parenting ways, and thinking about how we can support their learning and growth.

Then again, each child is different. For Trevor, his experience in school is a little different. He did not fit into the traditional school system. That being said, if we continue in school, he will probably still survive and turn out alright but is ok enough? We fear for his mental health and tue sanity of our family. We fear that he will be suppressed and his talents not realised. I saw the light in his eyes dimmed over the years as he struggles to wake every morning for school. Each morning was a battle and he cried without reason for almost a whole year. We considered if it was because of a phobia for school? a bully? bad experience? fierce teacher? Lack of sleep?...etc I met and spoke to teachers and found nothing. I spoke with him and didn't find any 'problem'. I waited and observed. We realised he was finding it hard to obey and he was getting very frustrated with everything. For a period he was vomiting a lot over little things that made him uneasy, he was having 'OCD' - like behaviors. (He jokingly says it stands for Obsess about Comfort now). And this went on for months. I would get calls from teachers in school about him forgetting to complete his work, did not bring his books to school. This made me question about the reason of the call, is it because my child is a bad child for forgetting to do his work or bring his book? OR is the call to remind me to get him to remember or to complete his work? Isn't it his responsibility to complete his work? Why should I push him? I will get feedback at every teacher parent conference that he is often daydreaming, short attention span, quiet, not engaged, not having many friends, not sociable.... I would return home with a heavy heart each time.

Thinking back, isn't it funny how we catergorise a child like this as not being a "good student"?

After the calls and the feedback, I would easily get upset with him and would put those expectations on him and make him finish his work, however unwilling he was, or however tired he would be. I resorted to rewards and punishment, giving him more computer game time, taking away free time, play time... all of his favourite thing. And some days I would be so upset about him not taking interest and initiative to do his work that I tell him he will not be having dinner with us if he did not finish his work. And this would send him sobbing in tears while penning down his homework.

Those days were horrible, stressful, and every episode of shouting, frustrations and quarrels brought tears to my eyes and my heart broke seeing him so sad. Chris finally spoke to me one day and said we should really do something about it.

This is when we started researching into other options for him, this was last year end.

Well back tracking a little bit to child no.3. Tyler went to a playschool at 3 for 3 hours and when he completed that year, the playgroup stop taking in 4 yr olds and we were late to registered to the other preschools. Some were too far, too expensive or the timing weren't right for us. So we took that year (2017) off and homeschooled. That was one of the most fulfilling and amazing year of my life. It felt right and both Tyler and I were learning and spending lots of happy time together. We explored forest school, we did many many learning journeys, met so many different homeschooling families, practiced Montessori... (hmm a lot of reflection on this as I tried to set up Montessori school activities at home, but then slowly I found it hard to keep up, and instead, I integrated it into our lifestyle. Instead of putting materials on a tray, I structured it into our daily lives. We still had some 'formal' circle time, music and movement time,  more intentional language and math learning. But other than that, a lot of outdoors, a lot of travelling by public transport, a lot of cooking, baking, cleaning. Basically practical life in practice.) Montessori became more of our way of life than a method of learning.

Because of my experience homeschooling Tyler, I got to know the homeschooling community in Singapore and that gave me the confidence to give homeschooling a go.

Since our decision, I got responses and sharing from many others of how they can never homeschool their child as they find it cumbersome to get their child to learn or to do work. Some does not enjoy their kid at home all day ( in the holidays) and feel the need to entertain them all day or keep them away from electronic devices. Others have no clue that this is even possible and probably think we are from mars and crazy taking him out of school at P5 and we are ruining his life!!!

Some people ask if I am qualified to teach? Do I know the syllabus well enough? I am only preschool qualified teacher not primary, sure I know how to teach?

Maybe I should write a FAQ and some of my responses and opinion on the matter. Then again, I am not trying to proof to anyone, homeschooling is our personal choice and a lifestyle of learning as a family.

Chris and I consulted at length about this seemingly high risk- life threatening decision, what is the best and worst scenario, what are our options and so on. We realised we have very little to lose and we are going to give it a go for at least a year and review it at the end of P5 on what to do next. In this sense, we have very little to lose.

About what others have to say, we are at peace with our decision and it doesn't really matter what most people say. Homeschooling is legal in Singapore and we have received permission to do so. So we are not committing a crime! :)

My questions are many, and with each question it comes with many research, thought, meditation, reflection. I go through his daily.. and I have so many new knowledge and understanding or the nature of learning and about life for that matter.

My main learning is, our kids are not entirely ours. God has entrusted these lovely children in our care to nurture and love. To see they fulfill their purpose and realised their talents and discover their role in the service to humanity. We cannot control them and shaped them into what we want to. We can only nurture and support them.

Children love to learn and are born to learn naturally. If we believe and trust this, and provide opportunities, time, lots of time and space, the right accepting environment, they will continually be motivated and will take the extra mile to do more than required. They do not need reward or punishment to learn and to complete their work.

I am seeing for my own eyes that Trevor has transformed from being disengaged, daydreaming, short attention span, quarrelsome, frustrated, disobedient, unmotivated, forgetful, quiet and unsociable(in the school teacher's eyes) to taking initiative, long attention span, engaged and will work till the end until he successfully completes a project, doing purposeful work, contributing to the house hold with his cooking and fixing broken drawers, replacing batteries for his brother's toys, replacing a light bulb...etc.

Now that he is not confined in the structure of our school system, or has tonnes of homework and worksheets to complete after school, he has the time to explore his interest. In this 4 months, he explored...

Drones - fixing one, learning about the mechanism of one, flying and controlling one, learning about safety and rules of one, and reading about news about the regulation of one. Learning to demo and explain to others and sell drones at a kid-entrepreneur fair.

Solar Robot - fixing one, learning about how the robot works, how energy is transferred, experimenting with different light, providing the conditions to help his robot perform at peak. I guided him and supported him. I helped him conceptualize his idea, formalized his hypothesis in words, came up with a presentation and set up a booth to present his findings in the science fair. I struggled with within myself if I should train him and get him to memorized a 'perfect' scripted speech. But then, there is no prize for the best project.. so I just let him be, and I demonstrated how to speak to others about the findings. I didn't pressure him into speaking to others, just let him experience the process. I am glad I did. I think the space I gave him has enable him to step up on his own accord. It does not happen overnight, took time, but I think I am confident he is taking more initiative now we are getting into the next project.

Soldering - he will be busy with soldering his projects hours at a go, taking quick meals and going back to it until he gets it done. He is refining his fine motor skills.

Cooking - he makes great pancakes, toast, eggs- boiled, poached, sunny side up, scrambled,  for himself and for each of us. He bakes cupcakes. Kneads and makes breads and kueh. Goes to market with me or Chris to purchase fresh produce, getting the best price, paying and speaking to vendors, knowing what is fresh...etc.

Knitting and crochet - We came across a knitting shop in JB and I introduced the tools to Trevor and if he would like to try it? And that sparked his interest to learn. Well, I know nothing about it and I do not have the time or patience to do that now especially with the younger 2 to care for. I know Chris' mom is very good at that and I told Trevor about it. He immediately went to grandma house and asked her to teach him. He also searched online - videos to learn.  So this answers the question of if I am qualified to teach him... I dont know everything for sure. My role is not to learn everything and then teach him. Most of the time, we learn alongside each other. But when I don't know somethings, I show him where we can find the answers. I find others who knows the subject better than us and to ask them to teach us. I am a teacher. But I am also a student. I am not feeding him with answers, but I am guiding him on learning how to learn. How to research. Who to look for to find the answers. If he knows this skill well. He can learn anything.

I can't remember what other interest or hobbies he has picked up, but that's all I have for now.

Socialisation - I thought I will touch on the big socialisation question. Will he have friends? Will he be lonely? Will he be bored at home? When the teachers in school say he is quiet and I need to take note of his socialisation skills, I was little worried at first. But when I asked him why is he quiet.. he told me the teacher asked them to keep quiet, don't talk and listen. Oh well...I guess he was being obedient! hhahah.. To think about it, in school they hardly have much time to make friends or play. And they are grouped together according to the same age, which does not reflect the real world where we will need to interact and work with people of different ages and social classes, different backgrounds, from different countries... etc.

From my observation, I see he makes friends quite easily in the playground. He is sensitive to the younger ones and will assist and guide them when needed. He will speak to the stall uncle or aunty and order the food the way he wants it... like the way his dad teaches him. " Chicken rice, thigh, boneless...etc... ) doing his dad proud. We join co-ops where we meet once a week to play and learn. And learn and play. They have plenty of time to play freely. They make up their own games, they get upset with each other, they learn how to resolve conflicts...etc. He socialise and make friends with all ages. We have 4 at home with wide age group, they talk, play, fight, resolve conflict, work together, etc.. We play at playground every other day. We have neighbours' kids over to play. We arrange play dates with his good friend from his previous school. We have devotionals and dinners and Bahai gatherings where we prepare meals and set up the house and welcomed all. We make friends with all races and nationality.

The thing that I realised is, I gave him the time and space to find himself. His own character. I realised he has a sense of humour and can carry a conversation with people of different ages. Of course not perfect but I am beginning to see the side of him that I have not seen before. Being able to socialised well also require one to know himself. Once he is confident of his own self, he is then able to relate better with others.


There are also many other questions like... How can I cope with 4 kids (one being a baby), and homeschooling? I struggled through it actually. first it was physical fatigue of carrying and bringing my baby everywhere we go. Being on time for co-ops! And changing and adapting learning with a growing baby who crawls and walk everywhere, putting everything in the mouth, wanting to be carried all the time some days, breastfeeding, changing nap times, sick....etc. So many factors.

But we are working through it. Firstly I am very grateful for the supportive homeschooling community. They would help me carry the baby and watch him during co-ops. The kids will shower baby with lots of love and some are old enough to watch and carry him. Planning and preparing ahead of time helps. And knowing Mondays mornings are always difficult to book cab, so I have found public transport route that will bring us to the places. I just have to leave the house earlier.

But then again no one is there to judge you for being late. So I don't feel too pressured, and because of that, I feel I can manage and I am happy to say we have been a bit earlier for co-ops.

Homeschooling is more of a lifestyle, we don't just do ' school' for a certain number of hours. But learning happens all the time and in all ways. I am glad to say that my kids have found ways to entertain and babysit Travis when they have to do work, or when they don't want Travis to mess up their card or board games. They know what interest their brother and what he can or cannot do.  They are getting pretty good (not all the time) but they can focus with the noise and the chaos in the house. They work it out among themselves when they know mummy needs help. One will carry the baby bag, one will carry the baby, the other will fold the pram and load it into the taxi, or push the pram and carry it up the bus and up and down the elevator and on and off the train. One will also open the google map to check the shortest route, check when is the next bus arriving..etc.

We have become quite a good team! :)

So...I have learnt that it's not easy. Not just about homeschooling, but about having 4 kids!

But it's possible and if you don't give up, you will find a way to make it through the hard times and you become pretty good at it. Well once you are good at certain things, do not be content as new challenges lies ahead!

I have learnt to also pray, place my trust in God and live my life as if my prayers have been answered.

Here are two prayer that carries me through the hard times... more learnings ahead.

O Lord! Unto Thee I repair for refuge...

OLord! Unto Thee I repair for refuge, and toward all Thy signs I set my heart.
O Lord!  Whether traveling or at home, and in my occupation or in my work, I place my whole trust in Thee.
Grant me then Thy sufficing help so as to make me independent of all things, O Thou Who art unsurpassed in Thy mercy!
Bestow upon me my portion, O Lord, as Thou pleasest, and cause me to be satisfied with whatsoever Thou hast ordained for me.
Thine is the absolute authority to command.

The Báb 

Be calm, be strong, be grateful, and become a lamp full of light, that the darkness of sorrows be annihilated, and that the sun of everlasting joy arise from the dawning-place of heart and soul, shining brightly. — ‘Abdu’l-Bahá


Friday, February 15, 2019

Do you believe children love to learn?

What happen to the years when they are so curious about things around them? From birth to the time before they start school, they have already acquired so many knowledge and skills. They learn to crawl, walk, run, speak, sing, cry, read, write, draw... etc. They have this light in their eyes, the burning desire to discover things, the motivation to find out more, to read, to acquire knowledge, the awe in nature and curiosity. I see this in all my children, and in every child. However this light.. this desire to learn slowly disappear as they attend primary school. Year after year, I see the kids getting bound down by longer hours of school, more homework, more tuition to learn the things they didn't learn in the long hours in school. They are exhausted and literally have no time!

Why is this so? What happened to our children over the years? It seems like there is nothing wrong.. and everyone is sending their children to school and the school should be doing the best for the kids. And teachers are professional who knows how to teach our kids. But no... not all teachers know how to teach or care about our kids. There is seriously something wrong in our educational system.

Why are we as adults, as parents, as school, as teachers, as a society putting out the fire to learn in our children?

I have been pondering on this for many years now, ever since I had kids, ever since my eldest started Primary 1. I had no answer, I made the best choice possible at that point of time. But now... I am beginning to see some light in my questions...

Our children need to be free to achieve their innate potentials. Not bound down by set curriculum, test, exams, homework. We need to set them free! Each child is so unique, we can't put them all in the classroom and teach the same thing and expect all to absorb everything.

We start asking the kids to shut up and listen, no talking in class, no talking and playing after class and at home. And  because learning is serious, there will be no playing because the kids need to complete their homework and study and revise for test the next day. Rush them to sleep and rush them to wake to be in school on time to study.

I can't sleep. I do not have time to edit this blog, I hope I made some sense and I hope we all start asking question and not accept the norm. For the norm may not be the best for our children.

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