Saturday, October 05, 2019

Fear Of Missing Out

Advertisements are everywhere!!?!?! We are slapped with so many statements to tell us we are not good enough, we need what they are offering to feel happy, to succeed, to be rich, to be able to fly???

Facebook, youtube... everywhere I turn is showing me what they think I am interested in... For my case is educational related ads. Firstly I am being tracked.. Hhmmm not comfortable with that.
Secondly these ads.. It makes me feel I am not doing enough for my kids or they are losing out and will not get a headstart in school if I dont sign them up for the math class, the psle course, the make your child focus... Brain training... Etc...
It taps on our fears of missing out. Apparently theres a term for it. FOMO.
But why?... Is it ok if 6 year old is not reading yet?
Is it ok if my 10 year old doesn't sit and focus when we do math?  Can he lie down on the ground to do work? Can he be learning when playing?


Do my kids need to go for every enrichment classes there are? Ok.. This I got sucked in... I worked out my expenditure for the kids enrichment programs... And i saw the grand total... OMG..  Way way too high. But its for 3 kids.. So.. Hhmm not to say its ok.. I am thinking what is necessary. Should we continue sending because we can afford it? Is it necessary? I need to constantly reflect and review our priorities... Because I have some FOMO too... The influence is too strong.. I can ignore once.. Twice.. After a while, I start clicking and signing up for free trials.  Need to focus.. And control... If not our lives will be taken over by someone else priorities.
Another question is aren't they learning math in school? Why do they need tuition? If tuition works... Why do they need school??
This fear of missing out I feel is because...
Number 1: We believe ALL children must learn the same things at the same time. So if your child is not walking by a certain age.. He is losing out.. If he is not reading at a certain age... He is going to be behind in school... And that is bad... Because his future is going to be ruined if he doesnt do well in school!!!?!?!..
Number 2: We categorise learning into grades.. By primary 1, a child MUST learn this or that.. He dont need to learn science, because he needs to focus on building up languages first... (an example).
What if he is interested in the world around him.. Do we tell him, dont need to learn that now.. Because you are going to learn that few years later. And when the 'time' comes.. .. his curiousity.. his interest would have died.
We are all born to be creative, its not a gift or talent that only a few are bestowed with.
Reason why creativity slowly dissapear is because we tell kids... This is what u need to learn to pass the exam and that would mean that u are successful. Don't need to learn anything else because it is not in the exam syllabus.. Or if u are doing anything else other than studying for exams.. you should feel guilty and you are wasting your time.
Someone shared with me that... Many Grade A students end up working for Grade C students. Got me thinking... Why? Because grade A students is busy learning by the book and studying for exam.. Where grade c students is busy playing.. Catching spiders.. Imagining.. Dreaming.. About other things. And this time spent dreaming.. Thinking.. Playing.. These experiences makes him different from the cohord of students coming out with straight As from the factory (aka schools). (excuse the generalisation.. just my opinion.. And putting a point across. Great if you are those who can do both... :) ..
This day dreamer will be able to think creatively.. To problem solve... To go beyond required and pursue his interest or invent something.. Or.. I dont know.. The sky is the limit.. Or maybe there's no limit anymore.
Just something for me to reflect on... And sharing a message.
Beware... For we will fall into this trap, and feel inadequate. Reflect and ponder often, what is our values, what is necessary, what is more important in life.

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